I've done enough understanding and re-understanding and not-understanding to fill and reverse the pull of a black hole to a state of emptiness.
In the end it always comes back to this...
Love.
Its truest form is so beyond me that its on me, in me, around me, and with me.
Even then terms like beyond, in, around, on, and with don't really matter.
The love that I feel is so real, so essential that you wont even know its there unless you weren't.
But its so real it speaks to me that its more than a verb.
Proper doesn't even apply to the formality of this noun, and even then I'm missing the point again.
I cant even say the words that fit or describe but that doesn't matter here either.
Its almost like I need a different tongue.
I need words that speak themselves.
I need words that groan.
I need words that create meaning as much as they stand for it.
I lack nothing.
Here with Love.
Like trying to stretch out my roots into what they're already founded in.
Like turning to kiss a lover who's already kissing me.
Like wanting something I already have, no matter how many times I pursue it as something else.
Like needing to be wanted but already found.
There is no feeling like this, its not a feeling at all its............
Indescribable
It can only really be believed in.
It can only really be trusted.
I cant see it to trust it, cant touch it or hear it or taste it on my accord.
No.
All of those things come from it.
The only way is faith.
Not simply belief. What I can choose to think or choose as my reality seems irrelevant.
What I'm experiencing goes so far beyond the mind or the heart.
It cant be reasoned, bought, taught, understood or gambled with.
What I'm feeling, although their is no word for it
Is............
Matthew 12: 18
Praise God from whom all blessings flow praise him all creatures here below praise him above yea heavenly host praise him: Father Son and Holy Ghost.
Amen
