What It Means To Minister

Jesus, spirit of the beloved come upon me and give me rest.

I submit my lord, my love. I don't desire the powers any longer. I don't desire to be the changer to be the worker to be the needed one. Let them need only you and fill me to overflowing. Lord fill me with your love. 

I'm done offering advise. I don't want to fix things don't want to change things don't want to make things of my own volition. I want you lord, my love I want you. Yours is the power my love. I have seen and felt your glory and it is all I want. Let your love stay, let me carry you inside. Walk with me, go where I go. Fill me with this love that it might spill over onto others. Let the poor say they are rich, let the weak say I am strong, because you are with me. Let the children come to you, let your children come to you.

Just be with me, be with me so much that you're with others too, the ones I can't seem to help.

I forgive

I forgive my self lord.

I forgive Lord. Fill me with forgiveness. Lord the desire of my heart is to forgive.

To love deeper to love harder. Fill me lord. Transform my mind by the holy spirit.

I love you lord. But I know

You Love me more.

How can I not

Forgive.

Breaking Bread

No longer do I desire to consume anything.

I will not buy the lie, I will not follow death and all of his friends, will not be an observer of the circle of death. I will be moved by nothing but my lord.

For his love has conquered the grave. Death has no hold of my life.  I trust and move boldly now into the new creation.

One in which life does not depend on the death of others in an endless cycle. One death for all deaths that the old might pass. Now those that "eat my flesh and drink my blood" are remnants to continue on as the NEW comes to be. Slowly but surely comes to be.

Once Life was my god, and fear drove me towards you lord but now I understand your words. If I had been satisfied in finding life surely I would have died, but now in the presence of your love you are my God and I will lay down my life.

In hopes of gaining you.

YHWH I call on the name of the Lord! YHWH!

Lord, my love....

I'm going to go to work now....

How long?

How long oh lord?

I'm sitting now, I am waiting now. How Long?

I am only breathing now, only breathing now. How long?

I know you are with me. I feel your presence. We abide, we are one. How long?

But Shalom my lord, my heart cries out for all of all to be brought to one. As you are one let us be one as well. How long?

Stillness pervades my mind. My thoughts are stopped at the point of mystery and fall into a state of foggy meditation among living words that communicate to my deepest self in inexegetical language. How long?

I can only listen, and the only thing you seem to do is swell like the ocean waves. It feels like rest, it feels like peace, like sabbath. Doing and moving working and choosing seem like echoes of a dream. Rest is so present it is all there is. One continuous moment of contented motionless existence. How long?

Did I dream your power? Did I image your desires? They seem at the side, put to rest on the wood stove of a cold winters night. A feeling like snow falling, an unchangeable season blisters by in the cold out doors while my spirit seems curled up with you aside the warm fires of patient contentment rot of the wisdom that knows the inevitability of seasons changing and hours enduring and even living in joy of what must be before it can be summer again. How long?

I wait, I submit to the power of this rest. I slip deeper into the calm of its trance and again as I fall into the quiet abounding my last words are how long? How long must i sing this song....

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