Heart Tangles in the veil of truth

Where do we begin lord?

Where do we start to

Untangle my masses.

Warm the blood and sooth the knots.

Fear underlying the grief

and grief stretches the pride that covers my shame.

Somewhere around the burden of pleasure

adjoining the heart contusion

of a forgotten love

In the place of one, a thousand crowd the chamber of my soul.

A joyous sight comes to the looking glasses of my mind but does not enter.

The pathways were long since congested

how many miles have I traveled in my mind while in form the atrophied legs of rot stifle beneath me? I feel a want I can not touch

my hand is crippled, held in place

Seized with fear

fear of life

I'm afraid to live

Death?

No, death has not stung me. I have been pinned to the wood basking in the hope of life renewed. The weight is not so hard to bear, or it wouldn't be

if not for the tangles and knots

But even as i feel it warming, softening, melting away the icy stiff of death... truth will not reveal. My eyes are cast to the ground

Your voice is calling but my head is heavy

"look to his face" I hear, by the time its navigated the streets of my soul the noise is muffled and confusing.

Did i hear or was it my thinking? Did I dream or was it my making?

I sit in silence and my knots remain. But to this post I do reclaim

that truth is in me. Life is within me and nothing else has been granted access to my heart, by your power

Only what I put....

Have i been put away?

Have i been laid to rest?

and you answer "yes and every day

in every way"

Come and clothe yourself, come and spend yourself, come and give yourself

to me"

afraid

afraid to live

"come again?"

afraid!

"come again?"

afraid to live!

"come again my child and feel the warmth of grace and know

how wide

how deep

how long

how strong

and empty the rest

for I fill my temple

there is no room for anything else"

So what is the rest? What is the whole, is it good, is it bad, is it evil?

"My grace is enough"

But all the other, what is the rest

of all I don't need

"choose wisely and give freely as you have been given to

my grace is enough"

is it love?

"it is life"

I'm Not Jesus

I'm not Jesus and praise the lord!

His grace has covered me, his love amazes me. How far can I fall and still have your love? How deep can I hide and still be found? How wrong can I do it and you still redeem?

I am truly fallen. How fallen am I? You know you're fallen when: you know that you're fallen. That's how gone I am. When I can see the good and evil that lays before me: that's when I loose my way, because then I'm only listening to my self. What should I choose? Oh but lord, God of Gods, king of kings your words are better than life. Only you are good and therefore only goodness can be found in you.

I can see good, but apart from you it is as the wind. I can see evil, but apart from you it is the same as good. Only in obedience can I find the rest of wholeness you offer, but even knowing that is knowing a good over evil. I see them, I see all the choices I have to make to be obedient. All the ways I can be like you, be your representation on earth, be your light, be your life, live your image but...I cant do it all, the power is not with in me, and even if I did do it, It would have been for my sake, oh what a wretched man, oh what a sinner I am. Lord please I need your mercy please!

I, me, Josh. I can not be the good I see....

Praise the lord I'm not Jesus

You have taken it from my hands and committed it to his! Him who was before me, and is after me, and is you, and is for you, and is to you. All things are him and not one thing is with out him. To him, through him, because of you, because he's from you, because he is you he did it. Praise the Lord he has done it. All of the greatest things, all of the noblest ideas, every love, every word spoken and poem hymmed, each kiss, the stars in the sky and the endless expanse of eternal space that lay between of all these: To cross the void, to find true love, to make peace in all the world, understanding upon understanding, NOTHING compares to the work of him. Not one thing can stand to the work of the Christ and not one idea is even more mysterious. Not one power is like it in all of creation, and for this his name is above every name, and not one man nor woman can boast.

Thank you lord for making me Josh Love that I might be showered in this glorious grace. Thank you for Jesus.

You have not made me lord of lords, praise the lord I am not Jesus!

The Seventh Day in Iowa

After the Lord got done creating the man that I've been this year we rested.

In Iowa.

Praise be to the lord of hosts. He fills by day and by night he takes away. To struggle with the lord God of Israel the god of Jacob is a glorious thing that I wouldn't trade for any love or riches. By the warming of the sun his love fills my belly. His gentle presence is like a thousand gentle butterflies within me. 

Come and speak some more.

Come and be still again.

Come to my heart.

Refill my spirit lord it needs restored. Give me the fire that helps me to love and live the life you have promised. You were the lord of the desert and now I can see the land of flowing milk. In abundance you will be here, but my heart must be guarded lest I fall for another love. Keep me from love of the flesh and love of the mind. Keep me in my heart for there I have enthroned you for ever and ever.

With having little the truth of the ages has seemed so clear but keep scales from covering my eyes father. Let me see in my time of fullness those who still need around me. But in all things I must thank you for this gift. This gift of life this meaning and image that you have imprinted upon my spirit, that you see me as you see the Christ, pure and blameless. You see me as the perfect son and not one thing can I do to earn this gift.

Let us rest now

let us be still

the race is coming